I’m coming up on a year from the time I was surprised with the phone call at work telling me that my husband had run off with another man’s wife, when he was supposed to be visiting family. While I’ve been on my own with the boys for months now, seeing that year mark within reach makes me feel itchy and gross. The stress of it has begun to wear away at my sanity a little bit, even though it shouldn’t. I don’t know why I feel this way, but it just is the way it is, I guess. On top of that, it still really sticks in my craw that I am still having to sleep in the bed I shared with him. It’s just a run of the mill, queen sized bed…and I still sleep on my side of it. It’s been a very lonely place to sleep, but if I am to be honest with myself I’ll admit that it’s been a lonely place for years now. It’s just one more crappy thing he left behind when he abandoned his family, and he left a lot of crap behind. I’ll save that particular rant for another posting.
Now that I’ve received my tax refund, I treated myself to the purchase of a new bed. It’s nothing fancy, just a regular double sized bed and box spring, but it’s mine. I bought it outright, there isn’t any history to it, and I can put any linens on it that I like. Oh…and I LOVE to shop for linens! I have my eye on a really nice quilt set at Penney’s that would look very nice. It’s way over what I should spend, but perhaps I will buy it just because I want it.
So, will this new bed help me get over my anxiety? Maybe, maybe not…but I will sure feel better sleeping in a bed that I paid for myself, right in the middle! As I write this, it’s 2:31 pm. The bed is scheduled to arrive within the next couple of hours, and I find that I’m having a hard time being patient!
Sparrow's Ramblings 