It was a dark and stormy night last night. You might think that we had a thunderstorm, being as it was the last day in April, but no. Yesterday we had a blizzard. It was a no hold’s barred, wind howling, snow flying, North Dakota Blizzard. There are still towns West and North of us that have no electricity due to the wind and ice damage to the electric poles and lines.
This is what I saw outside my back door last night:
I’ve stated before in previous posts that I felt that Old Man Winter has had all the fun he’s entitled to, and should be fired for taking too many liberties with his share of the year. I have to wonder what’s going on in Mother Nature’s realm that our weather has been so out of whack? Let’s take a peek into their world, shall we?
Mother Nature: “Jack! Could you come here for a minute please?”
Jack Frost: “Yes, Mother?”
Mother Nature (one eye brow raised, arms crossed): “Jack, what have I told you about playing with blizzards?”
Jack Frost (Sighs heavily): “You said not to because it causes imbalances in weather all over the world, not just in the area where the storm happens.”
Mother Nature (Other eyebrow raises): “And…?”
Jack Frost (Hangs head, one toe pushes around some lint on the carpet, mumbling): “And, too much of one kind of weather over and over again wreaks havoc with the humans in that area and makes them suffer needlessly.”
Mother Nature (Hands on hips): “That’s right, you know better. So what gives? What’s your excuse for abusing our humans like that? For crying out loud, Jack, it’s April 30th! Not only are you messing with them, but now my time-table has to be pushed back. How are people supposed to get out and celebrate Me with picnics and May Pole dancing tomorrow when they are knee-deep in snow drifts?! Not only that, but because the Winter Season has been unnaturally extended, the tornadoes got angry for being cooped up and went on a screaming rampage across the Southern States, en masse. What a MESS! Just what have you got to say for yourself?!”
Jack Frost (Frowning, and stomping a foot. Whines.): “Well, Old Man Winter said the humans are there for us to play with. He was showing me how they scramble like ants when storms come. He says you spoil them and they need some toughening up!”
Mother Nature (Steam now rolling out of her ears): “Oh really? Jack, when I agreed to let you job shadow with Old Man Winter, it was only as long as you promised not to pick up his bad habits. He has a tendency to play with the humans as though they were expendable, and I’ve raised you to know better than that. (Shouting into the Ether) WINTER! Show yourself… You have some explaining to do!”
Old Man Winter (Pops into the room amidst a cloud of snowflakes): “What!? Why are you screaming at me during my lunch hour? Don’t you know that Days of our Lives is on, and it’s a big cliff-hanger this week. Marlena’s discovered she has another personality, and Roman was just about to find out when you started shouting…what’s so important it couldn’t wait?”
Mother Nature (takes a deep, cleansing breath): “Never mind the soap operas, I caught Jack playing with your Blizzards again. I distinctly remember telling you that he wasn’t allowed to play with your weather, he was just there to job shadow. Speaking of which, your Season is far over extended. Why aren’t you paying attention to the time-table I sent you at the beginning of the year?”
Old Man Winter (Frowns and stomps his foot): “I’m tired of having to put my Season to bed for months on end. It’s so boring having to wait for all of the other Seasons to get out of the way so I can get back to business! Young Jack shows promise…he could be a big help to me in the event I want to take a vacation next year. Besides, you’re too soft on those humans…they need to toughen up.”
Mother Nature (Exasperated eye roll, heavy sigh. Her spine stiffens): “Ok, that’s it. I’ve had it! Jack, I think you’ve had enough job shadowing with Winter. For the next several decades, you will be helping me get things going in the Spring, and then you will understand why over extension of one Season into another causes problems for everyone. And, you’re grounded until you learn to respect ALL of my creatures, especially humans.”
Jack Frost (pouting fiercely): Aw, MOM!
Mother Nature (Sternly Shakes her finger): Don’t you give me any lip, young man. As for you Winter, you’re done. Your Season’s over. Box up your weather for the next three Seasons and get ready for a nice loooong nap. You’ll be lucky if I allow you to let your weather out again before January next year.
Old Man Winter (Eyes glow stormily. Bushy white eyebrows rise up on his forehead): You can’t tell me what to do! I’m WINTER, and I’m not done…I have plans! You just watch, I’m gonna… (Mother Nature, lazily waves her hand in his direction)…ZZZZZZZ.”
Mother Nature (tiredly): Alright Jack, while I tuck Winter in for the next three Seasons, you get off to your room and don’t come out until breakfast tomorrow. We have a busy day ahead of us, and we’ll start out with how to make enough Sunshine to melt all that snow you threw down yesterday. Sheesh…what a disaster. I need a margarita!
So, today, apparently young Jack did get some schooling on how to make the Sun shine enough to melt snow. Below is the picture I took from my back door this afternoon. May Day actually turned out to be kind of nice after all. And, I spent it celebrating with friends. We didn’t get to have a picnic or dance around a May Pole, but it was just as great as if we did.