Welcome to the procrastination zone!

I am procrastinating. I’m not even doing laundry while writing this blog post. Cup of coffee #2 is tasting super good. I may even make time for #3.

The house looks like a bomb blew up in it, and I have more laundry to do than three households. Life has been pretty busy during October, and I’m so exhausted I could sleep for three days straight and probably not feel adequately rested.

So, with all of this work that needs to be done, what am I doing? I’ve missed my blog, and it’s the thing I make the least time for these days, so I thought I would play a little catch up here. While I would love to say that catching up here is equal to getting something done, the truth is that it’s purely a selfish activity I want to do for myself. Hey guys! What’s new with you?!

So what’s new here? Not much. Work, work, work… with a side helping of extra crap I have to get accomplished. Having two jobs is enough, but the fabulous new job I got this last January has turned into a giant sucking Hell-Hole-‘o-Doom, and I’m actively looking for a new job. I won’t get paid as much anywhere else, but I will most likely be happier. I’m in the middle of rearranging my finances so that I will be able to live a more sedate life. I want to have a life where my job doesn’t take it over to the point of having nightmares about it on a daily basis.

The good news is that my 2nd job is pretty good. Working at The Big Red Box Store (heretofore to be known as TBRBS) just enough to provide a little extra cash has been awesome. I don’t work that many hours, but it’s just enough. I have a lot of friends there, and it has been a kind of sanctuary there when days at my primary job have been super awful, which is pretty much every day now.

I have had a few questions rolling around in my head lately…

1. Why do I have so much crap?! I can’t imagine why it was a good idea to buy it at the time, and now I have mountains of stuff I don’t want or need. It’s been my weekly goal to piss off the garbage men by putting a bunch of stuff on the curb. Whatever people don’t just take, the garbage guy has to deal with. I’ve been a little lax about it in October for being so busy, so it’s time to get back on the wagon and hall that junk out!
2. What the heck is it with Christmas that it has to begin by the end of September every year? At TBRBS, the one whole back wall of Seasonal was covered with outdoor Christmas decoration stuff…lights, etc, when Halloween stuff came out. In the next week or so, all of the Halloween and Thanksgiving stuff will go on clearance, and Christmas will bust out in all of its consumeristic train wreck glory. Ugh…It’s two months away, and I am already tired of it.
3. Why do I feel like I want to sell everything and just go be a hermit? Lately, I have craved so badly to just go off by myself somewhere and just sit in the quiet. I get very little quiet time to myself, and it’s gotten to a point that when it’s quiet in the house, I don’t even feel like moving. I think getting a new job that doesn’t require me to work weekends will help. The search is on.

Enough of the questions rolling around in my head. Time to finish my coffee, put my big girl panties on and just get on with my day. I have a bridal shower to attend today for a lovely young lady, and I have a great afternoon to look forward to. I may even throw some laundry in so I can feel like I am getting something done while I am away from the house this afternoon.

Here’s wishing you all a lovely fall afternoon, with much procrastination. Take time for yourself…it’s something worth doing. Today I took time to do something we don’t get to do very often in North Dakota. I went into my back yard barefoot in the mostly still green grass! Simple things feed your soul…Blessings All!

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Confessions of a Sunday morning slug

Another Sunday morning has arrived, and it seems like I was just here. The weeks have gone by so quickly, and I am finding myself trying to put on the breaks and make this lovely Sunday morning last a little while longer.

Enter cup of coffee #3. That’s right…I’m being a slug.  I do have quite a few things I need to do today, as they didn’t get done at any other time this week, but I just don’t feel like doing anything.

I’ve reached a sort of breaking point where I get stubborn about things that need to be done, which I don’t want to do.  Usually, I can get the lead out and get things going, but I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to breathe. The old bod is giving me the high sign that enough is enough, and I should just lay low.  I know I won’t for long, but it sure is tempting to just crawl into bed and close my eyes.

I think our culture has developed a bad habit of not having a season of rest. It’s probably not the same for all people and the jobs they have, but my job knows no quiet time. It’s busy all year round, and there is only busy and busier. Right now it’s the busiest I’ve known in a long time, at my happy little Cube Farm. I am lucky that it’s not been so busy at the Red Big Box store…I was gifted with getting a surprise day off yesterday as they are cutting hours.

Given that, you’d think that I would have had a chance to rest up and get some stuff done. Not so. There’s SO much going on that I just haven’t had as many nooks and crannies available to cram in things the way I normally would. Add on top of that the fact that September and October are always furiously busy times of the year anyway, plus trying to prepare for a trial this coming Friday, and life gets really interesting.

Yesterday morning I attended a deposition, which was an interesting experience. While I was not questioned, I got the opportunity to witness how my ex-husband’s lawyer operates, and I got to watch my lawyer in action. Even though I am in the middle of the situation, I have to say that this is an interesting process. Sometimes I try to stand outside myself a little just to really try to observe the process objectively…and mostly fail to be objective. Still, as much as this has been a terribly painful ordeal, I am morbidly fascinated by it. My attorney says I should go to law school. I think I’ll leave that to her and just keep my perch high up on the observer’s tree.

Speaking of perches, I saw three crows perched together the other day, which I took for a good omen. Yes, I do believe in omens, just like I believe in gut feelings. And, I like crows. Many people take them for being bad luck, but I like to have them around.

Last night I got to spend time with my Flirt, his sister and her husband. We went on a double date to the local casino and met their cousin. She was delightful. I played the penny slots, and we played several games of darts and pool.  We had a lovely time, and when we came home, I got to curl up with my sweetie and go to sleep. There’s nothing quite like the feeling you have when you go to sleep with your sweetheart’s arm wrapped around you. I slept well for the first time in two weeks.

Given that I watched my ex-husband’s deposed witness inadvertently poke holes in his case,  have had a good night’s sleep, and have consumed three cups of coffee, I have no good excuse not to get up and get something done. Time for a shower, some laundry, housework, and then go out to get my unruly hair cut. It promises to be a good day.

Sometimes just taking a few moments to think about the little blessings I come across makes all the difference. Having got those down on digital paper this morning, I feel better prepared to kick it down and get my day started. I keep telling myself I am only limited by what I am willing to imagine I can do, and today is no exception. In short, the sky is my limit, and there are no low hanging clouds today. Best get on with it!

Here’s hoping your sky is wide open with potential and possibility, and that your imagination runs wild with it. Brightest Autumn blessings to you all…

Breaking out the titanium blessing shovel

Well, it’s been one heck of a week.

The highs and lows have been of an epic roller coaster level, from one minute to the next. And, while I know that bad things don’t last, I’ve had a really hard time trying to be my normally plucky self.

So, it’s that time again….time to dig out the (cue echo…) Titanium-um, um, um  Blessing-ing, ing, ing  Shovel-el, el, el. 

Titanium is a tough substance, so you can keep digging even when it looks like the BS life has been throwing at you is too deep to find your way out of. My trusty shovel has gotten me out of more piles of yuck than I can count. I think it got a good workout this week.

Yes, I’m digging deep today, through all of the baloney I’ve been wading through. Sometimes you just have to clear all the emotional clutter away so you can appreciate the blessings that are within easy grasp. So, I’ve compiled a quick list of things I am grateful for now that I have had a chance to get over myself and take a look around.

1. Autumn is upon us. The air is crisp and cool, and the leaves are turning. It’s a lovely time of year, and a nice long Indian Summer looks promising. I love it when Autumn is extended all the way through November. Pretty soon the farmers will start burning fields, and the air will smell amazing.

2. Younger Son has had a tough time with ankle injuries this football season, and hasn’t got to play much at all. Last night he was able to play with the Varsity team, and got in some good tackles. It was great to see his happy face when the game was over.

3. My sister by choice has started a blog called My Dandelion Wine, and she wrote a poem about Autumn, and how it feels to experience it. Reading this poem really helped to jerk me out of my rut this week. I encourage you to stop by and give it a read.

Well, that’s all I have time for today. I hope this weekend brings many easily observed blessings your way, and that you have a fabulously rejuvenating weekend.

Football and bellydancing

I went to Younger Son’s football game Thursday night, and it was a beautiful night for it. We are in the middle of a blessed Indian Summer and the weather has been heavenly. But Thursday night, it was amazing. There’s something about the air in the Autumn that is just intoxicating, and it’s so sweet you can almost taste it. It reminds me of sweet water I drank from a natural spring once… it was so fresh and so good, I just couldn’t get enough. At the game, it’s a wonder nobody reported me for odd behavior, as I was doing a LOT of deep breathing. These kind of days are so rare and I was so grateful to have the excuse to spend a few hours outside.

One thing I’m not grateful for is angry football parents. You know the ones…they shout at their children from the sidelines, as though they know better than the coaches. Not only that, but they aren’t afraid to tear their kid down in public. It’s amazing to me the foul, caustic things that come out of some of these parent’s mouths. It’s just unreal and, that evening, I think I hit a wall with it.

Most of us parents who go to the football games walk up and down the field, following the players. This one guy walked up and down, and did a lot of muttering. I didn’t notice him shouting so much, but he talked to himself an awful lot. He was kind of weird, so I did my best not to make eye contact with him and just kept my distance. At one point he walked behind me and did say something to his kid from the sidelines that I couldn’t ignore:

“You ought to have broken that faggot in two!”

Yeah, that’s right…that’s exactly what he said. The kicker is that I heard this through the headphones I was wearing, as I had been listening to some podcasts I wanted to catch up on, so you know it was loud.  It shocked me so badly, I turned around, looked him in the eye and asked, “Did you really just say that out loud?”, to which he replied, “Yes… I did” and walked off. The good news is that  the guy went to one corner of the field and stayed there after that. Perhaps just confronting him once will be good enough to carry him for the rest of the season? One can only hope.

Anyway, despite that bit of nastiness, it was still a lovely evening to hang out and watch my kid play. I sure wish I could find a way to bottle that good clean Autumn air!

By this time, you must be asking yourself, what the heck has that got to do with belly dancing? Nothing, really. I just found this really cool video over at Wandering Soul and had to share it with you, my faithful 10 readers! I didn’t realize it until I saw this, but apparently belly dancing has really taken off in the US, and there is even a festival in Sebastopol, CA which showcases it called Tribal Fest.  I also didn’t realize that belly dance could be so fabulous when done in slow motion. We’ve all seen whirling belly dancers on TV, but this takes it to a new level of art. I really, really want to be a belly dancer, just like this lady (Rachel Brice), in my next life…this stuff rocks. Enjoy!

Redecorating your blog

So, I’m sitting here spending some time on the computer, and waiting for the children to come home. Older Son has been out with his father, and Younger Son is four hours away from home playing football. Feeling out of sorts because the house is so quiet, so I thought I would just play around on the computer for a while and listen Lost in the Static out loud, rather than have my headphone plastered to my head.

I’ve visited most of the places I usually haunt on-line, and have read the news. Housework awaits, but I’m in no mood. So, I thought I’d write something in my woefully empty blog. I’ve neglected it in recent weeks, but I’ve just been so completely uninspired that I had nothing to write. What to do?

Redecorate!

I’ve had the same background on my blog for quite a while, so I thought I would change things up and make it more seasonally appropriate. I didn’t have any appropriate wall papers, so I went searching on-line for free wallpaper. It was a little like shopping, only cheaper! The place I finally found the wallpapers I liked is Vlad Studio, and so I did some redecorating.

Speaking of redecorating. As soon as this last episode of Lost in the Static is done, I’m going to replace all of the handles on the cupboard doors in my kitchen. Nothing fancy, just plain silver door handles, but it will be a nice sleek upgrade compared to the miss-matched hardware I’ve got now. Baby steps…little by little I’ll make my rickety little fixer-upper a cottage-like little home.

The Autumnal Equinox and its blessings

Good morning!

Today is the first official day of Autumn, also known as the Autumnal Equinox. Today, as with the Spring Equinox in March, day and night come in equal amounts, as we are half way between the Summer and Winter Solstices. There is more that can be explained astrologically, and if you’re interested in hearing more about that, there is an interesting article to read at EarthSky.

Autumn doesn’t officially fall (pardon the pun) until 10:09pm, so technically we still have a few hours of Summer left. I will miss Summer, and being warm, but I feel blessed in the Fall for many reasons:

~I love the crispness of the air. It’s not gummed up with humidity of Summer, nor is it cutting with the cold of Winter.

~I love the smells. Farmers burn some harvested fields in the Fall, and the smell is heavenly. I wish it was a scent I could bottle for days when I have too much stress.

Yummy!

~Fresh apple cider. Oh. My. Gods. It’s the best stuff ever, and you can only get it from September through October. When I grow up, I would like to have an orchard and make my own apple cider.

~The trees are gorgeous with their Autumn colors

~Halloween is coming and people are already starting to decorate. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, but I’ll go into that more in a later post.

~Now that Fall has arrived, it’s time to not only put your yard and gardens to bed, but also time to contemplate putting the year to bed. Between now and Halloween is a good time to take stock of what’s happened in the last year, and put things to rest. More on that, too, later.

So, now it’s time to leave the house and get on with my day, and I feel plenty blessed. Blessed Autumn to you all…may you never hunger, may you never thirst!

Digging deep…this morning’s blessings

With Autumn approaching, I find that I’m feeling hum drum, and just down in general. Don’t get me wrong, I love this time of year with the beauty of the changing trees, the Autumn smells in the air, and just the fresh crisp feel of the season. It’s a beautiful time of year, and yet I find the specter of the coming Winter overshadows it to the point of making me feel some dread. I’ve been told that we should expect 2 1/2 degrees colder temps on average, as well as 4 more total inches of snow this winter. We had a hard time finding places to put it all last year, and I can’t imagine trying to store more of the stuff. Uff-da….

Anyway, in the effort to drag my attitude out of the basement and into the light, I’m digging deep, with my trusty snow shovel,  for whatever blessings come to mind this morning, and they are as follows:

1. When the ground freezes and the snow falls, there will be no chance that I will get leakage in my basement from a severe thunderstorm.

2. I am fortunate enough to have two strong sons to help me shovel out. I also have some extra cash I’m going to pay my neighbor with the Bobcat to clear my driveway when the snow is so deep it would take us hours to clear by hand.

3. I have a have a nice warm winter jacket, which I affectionately call the Big Brown Bear suit. It’s never failed me, except that the pockets have holes that need sewing up. After 12 years, if that’s the only malfunction that happens, no big deal. I have a needle and thread.

4. Snow really is pretty. There’s nothing more peaceful than when the land has a fresh coat of snow on it. Not only is it peaceful to see, but it lends an extra measure of quiet to everything that is like nothing else.

5. While Christmas, in all its commercial glory, is not my favorite holiday, I love how everything is covered with lights at Christmas time. When everything is so dark that we hardly get to see the sunshine, it’s nice to have those little lights twinkling in the darkness. Sometimes I take the long way to where I’m going just so I can take in some more of the holiday decorations.

6. I like holiday food. Some of the best traditional holiday food is only made in the Winter. Lefse is a good example. I learned how to make lefse last year, and I  plan on making homemade lefse for Thanksgiving and Christmas. No promises about Easter, it’s just too darned busy that time of year.

7. Speaking of holiday food, Thanksgiving is coming up. Thanksgiving is absolutely my favorite holiday. I live for roasting turkey, and making the whole dinner with all the trimmings. I love to have people over and make a big day of it. I can’t wait!

Well, I supposed that will have to be enough for now. It’s time to get the boys off to school, and me to work. I hope you all have a blessing-filled day.