Day 37 -Blowing the top off of a nasty funk


I don’t know about you, but sometimes I go through swaths of time where I just can’t quite function. I fake it really well, but things pile up and then I am left with a giant mess to try to fix. I hate to even call it depression because it’s not catastrophic, but I think that’s what makes depression so insidious. It sneaks up on you, and it’s a little like the opposite of the proverbial frog in a pot of boiling water. Instead of the heat gradually increasing until it’s too late and the frog gets boiled, the water gets colder and colder until the frog is frozen in place, and everything is all locked up. It’s paralyzing. I let my house go, I haven’t blogged or walked on my treadmill in a week, and I have been eating all kinds of crappy food. I

This last couple of weeks has been that way for me, and the weird thing is that I don’t even know it’s happening until I’m mired in the middle of it, much like having your car stuck in the mud and coming to the realization that you just can’t simply drive away from it.

After a lot of years dealing with this, I have discovered pharmaceuticals aren’t helpful for me. The best thing for me is sunshine, fresh air, decent food, exercise, and good music. The latter will pull me out of a bad funk quicker than anything else, but for some reason it’s not been a go to remedy, and I will have to change that.

Something I noticed that isn’t helpful is the internet. I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts regarding news and current events. Talk about depressing information. Even though the internet is full of good things, I think I will be taking a break from so much of it.

This time of year is toughest because I am so, SO, done with winter and the cold and Daisiesdarkness that comes with it, and so ready for Spring to arrive. I went through my phone this morning to clean out some junk that I don’t need anymore, and I found some pictures I took last spring. How lovely to find a nice reminder that spring is just around the corner.

Another thing that just blows the top off of the funk I have been living with is Pandora. For those who don’t know, Pandora an app that play all of your favorite music, and is free with ads that play. I am not getting paid to give this recommendation, it’s just an app I really love.  As soon as I am done writing this blog post, the volume is going up, and the housework is getting done. I’ll probably open the windows and get some fresh air in here too.

I feel like the fog that has been hanging over my head is evaporating, and I can finally take a breath and feel like a human being. Here’s hoping that you are having a sunshiny happy day. If not, try some music. Turn it up loud blow the top off of that funk. Blessings all!

 

 

 

 

 

Day 34 – Killing despair at the end of a North Dakota Winter


It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to write, and I am starting to think that it’s because I have so much rambling around in my head that I can’t begin to know how get it out in words. Sometimes there aren’t words to describe exactly what is going on in my head.

Most of my problem lately has been the weather. We’ve been blessed with two or three good warm spells, which have melted much of the snow that was dumped on us at the beginning of the Winter in December. That has been a big help, but Winter just can’t let Spring Owl - Nopego, and I wish he’d just pack it in and go to sleep for the season.

Just recently, we’ve had some awful storms in northern North Dakota and southern Saskatchewan. The amount of snow we got isn’t great in amount, but the winds whipping it around at 60+ mph is the real evil here. Minot didn’t get it so bad, but mostly everyone north of us did, and it’s ugly. People have dug their way out now, but it appears that we are getting more snow cold this week. As my favorite weather app (WTF Weather) tells me today, it’s “snotcicle weather”, with a low of -1, and a projected high of 10 above zero. That’s really not terribly cold, but we have been teased with 40-50 degree temps, which makes it feel cold all of a sudden.

I don’t want to give the false impression that we have been beleaguered by a long nasty winter, because we really haven’t. Our first real accumulation of snow came late in December with a whiz-bang blizzard, and we have been struggling along ever since, but to only have snow and cold from December through March is a gift. I’ve known years where our first blizzard comes in October and Winter keeps us in his grips right through some of April. When Old Man Winter stays around for so long, it gets really demoralizing. If I were to personify Winter, and I often do, I would guess that he likes it that way. Mean old bastard…

Why demoralizing? Well, for one thing, it’s painful. The cold makes your bones hurt, and when the weather changes and storms blow through it can cause throbbing aches which are hard to get rid of. That’s part of my problem now. I’m really done hurting all of the time. I would love nothing more than to just sit in the sunshine, soak the heat into my bones and be ache free. It was not lost on me that I didn’t hurt the whole time I was in Las Vegas, and when I came back to North Dakota the old aches just fell back into place. Wow…going somewhere else can make my knees stop hurting. Hmmm…food for thought.

Spring Sprouts

If you look really close, you can see little sprouts in the middle.

Something else I am keenly aware of is my need to be surrounded by greenery and things that I can nurture and grow.  I believe what happens when you grow things is that you plant a little hope with those seeds, and to watch them grow is very sustaining in times when regular daily life just isn’t. I’ve started some seeds on my kitchen table, and it’s nice to check on it daily to see the growth and change. This will tide me over until I can get outside to plant in my yard.

It is still only the middle of March, so it is not out of bounds to still have cold and stormy weather. However… we are witnessing the death throes of Winter, and the rattle and wheeze of his last days are loud. Underneath all of that complaining racket I can just hear Mother Nature plotting with Spring and Summer in whispers and grins of anticipation. Their time is coming, and the long wait is soon to be over.

Here’s hoping that your weather is just right. If it isn’t, just hold on…better weather is coming. Blessings all!

 

Winter weather blessings come in strange packaging


Yes, that’s right. There are even blessings to be found in the depths of winter. What’s today’s blessing? You’d be surprised.

I heard on the news this morning that the windchill in Winnipeg, Manitoba will be -49 today. You didn’t read that wrong. It’s that cold. Winnipeg is a neighbor of sorts…about a five hour drive from my house. Here it will only be -20 below with the windchill. It’s a small blessing, but a blessing none the less.

Another blessing I ran into yesterday was a fabulously good deal on a sturdy new winter coat. My old coat was starting to resemble Swiss cheese. The pockets were full of holes, and the zipper lost the little tab so trying to get it zipped up was quite a chore. So, now I have a spiffy new coat, and I’ll be warmer for it.

Even better, we are half-way through January. I’m gunning for March, when I can plant the seeds which will be the start to my garden. I’ve been giving some thoughts to starting my herbs in pots that I will just transfer outside. Oh…just thinking about it makes me feel warmer already!

Next you will see posts here about garden plans. Stay warm everyone!