A confession, and standing on my own

Sometimes I go back through my blog posts from a long time ago, and I find it interesting to think about the thoughts and observations I had back then and compare them to what I think and feel about things now.

I actually ran into a post that made me feel sad, and a little cheated. Back in 2015, I’d had a two-year plan cooking in the back of my brain, which I felt was a slam dunk of a future.

Then the Gods laughed…

I think part of the problem is that I tried to include someone else into the plan. That’s problematic in that the other person has to be thinking in the same direction, and not just giving lip service to it.

I will confess that there is another, larger, more insidious, problem. I think I was just really happy and comfortable to feel that this companion might be around for a good long time. I have done my best to be my own woman, but this bullshit crept up on me and took root somewhere deep where I couldn’t recognize it for what it was: reliance on someone else for my happiness. I enjoyed his companionship a little too much.

There is such a thing as being too comfortable. That’s when things are let to slide when they should be addressed.

Well, &@#k that.  Nobody should ever feel like they need to have someone else around in order to feel happy. Ever.


A few things I learned about making long-range plans:

  1. Only make plans for yourself, as you can’t plan for what other folks have going in their heads, or in their lives.
  2. Relying on others to feel happy or complete is a trap. Make yourself happy, and the rest will follow.
  3. Make the plan realistic, and follow-up on it often. You can’t win if you don’t play, and oftentimes luck is only present if you work hard and pay attention.

Right now, I think a good enough plan for now is to get my current relationship issues wrapped up, work on fixing up my home, and get to know myself again.  I will enjoy the road less traveled

What’s my next long-range goal? Simple… I want to be happy, whatever that looks like a year, two years, or five years down the road. I’m letting the sun set on old things that no longer serve me.

Here’s hoping this note finds you all well, and comfortable and happy with yourselves. You are amazing, and unique, and fabulous. You are enough, and don’t let anyone ever tell you, or make you feel, otherwise.  Blessings, all!


Confessions of a Snack Smuggler

Today Mom and I took all of the boys to see Despicable Me.

Everyone of us liked it, and we ranged in age from 8 to 64. There’s a little something in it for everyone. I think my favorite part of the movie had to be The Minions...I’ve got to find myself a mini minion for my new desk!  You can get the gist of the story from the trailer, so I won’t go into it here, but I will say that it’s worth going to see in the theater.

Speaking of seeing movies in the theater, what the heck is up with the high-priced tickets!? It’s now $9 for an evening adult ticket, and $6.50 for a matinée ticket, all ages. When we moved here in 1998, it was only $5 a ticket and $3.50 for a matinée. Yeah, I know that was a long time ago, but gee whiz.

Not only are the tickets to get in outrageous, but the snacks and drinks are so cost prohibitive that I’ve had to take up smuggling in order to support my moving-going habit. That’s right, I said it. I’m a snack smuggler.

Last night the boys and I went shopping at Wally World in preparation for our big movie day. They have a whole section in the Candy Isle labeled “Movie Candy”. No joking, I picked up enough movie candy to feed three people at three movies for just $12. That wouldn’t completely buy snacks and drinks at the theater for three people going to one movie.  Today, before we left, I emptied out my big shoulder bag, and stuffed it full of enough snacks and drinks for the six of us. I have to admit, my bag looked like carry on luggage by the time I got it stuffed full and zipped up, but it did the job.

Should I feel guilty for not having purchased the exorbitantly priced snacks and beverages at the theater? No, I don’t think so. It’s not illegal. Until they enforce any “no outside food or drinks” rules, I’ll be packing my own. That will probably happen right after they enforce the “no on under 17 allowed without a parent or guardian” rule. Yeah, like that’s going to happen any time soon.