Day 32 – The “Should” part of my brain can go take a chill pill

Good morning and happy Saturday!

It was nice to be able to walk on my treadmill in the sunshine today. I should have been up at O’Dark-Thirty to get my walk in, and my day going, way before sun up. Here it is 9:30 and I am just now getting to the blog.

The “Should”part of my brain is berating my laziness, and murmuring angry whispers to me about how my morning has been wasted. Look at how much could have been accomplished, if I’d have only gotten out of bed at 7 when my alarm went off! Now I am behind, and will have to run to try to catch up with everything that needs to be done.

The “I Am Done With The Running And The Stress” part of my brain says to chill and enjoy the moment. Bask in the sunshine and sip coffee in the quiet of the morning. There’s no harm in being flexible and making sure you get a little rest, for your brain and your body.

These two areas of my brain have been at war with each other for a while now. I used to just go with the insistence of the “Should” part of my brain, and then I got divorced. At that point “Should” went out the window for “Have To”. I had to work two jobs to get by. I had to constantly run here and there for the kids, and whatever else needed doing.

I was constantly in survival mode for the first two years after my divorce, and it burnt off a lot of what “Should” was trying to convince me of: that I wasn’t good enough, and that I need to work harder, better, faster, stronger.  That’s not good enough, do it better. Your time management is terrible, get up earlier so you can cram more into every day….etc., recycle, rinse, repeat.

These days, I try to ask myself, what needs to be done now, and how do I balance that with what I want?

Today was supposed to be about a morning of housework, and then a leisurely afternoon strolling through the Home and Garden Show at The State Fair Center. But, as it turns out I will be spending the day with my Mom. The lady who gave my parents their dog (because she didn’t have the time or energy to keep up with the dog anymore) called Mom some time ago and said she wanted to stop by and visit on this date. I think somewhere in the back of Mom’s mind there was a little worry that this lady would try to take the dog back, and Dad was going to be out for the day. Safety in numbers means a lot.

Long story short, the lady never showed up, and I got to spend the day with my Mom. Everyone wins! The Home and Garden Show comes every year, and  I can see it next March. So, the housework that I should have done today will be put off for tomorrow. Or, maybe I’ll do it across evenings next week. The “Should” part of my brain can just go take a chill pill. As long as the bills are paid, and I have enough clothes to wear to work, that’s good enough.

Here’s hoping you have enough time in your life to be flexible to help out the important people in your life, and to take time for things that feed your soul. Tell that “Should” part of your brain to go take a long walk off a short pier. Blessings all!


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