Where does the madness end?


So, I get an email from my lawyer last night letting me know that my ex is up to shenanigans that put him in contempt of court. She would like to put into motion to prosecute him for this.

My question is, where does the madness end?

Don’t get me wrong…my lawyer has done a fabulous job for me, and I am in a better spot because of her diligent work and sharp mind. Not only is she wickedly smart, but she is a hunter, and she’s got my ex-husband’s scent in her nose. What she’d really like to do now is almost the equivalent of sinking him up to his ankles in cement and roll over him with any large vehicle. Repeatedly.

She looks at me a little funny when I tell her that I am not interested in being that “gold digging ex-wife”, that you hear so many men complain of. In this instance, I just want what was promised to me, but he has his lawyer come back with all of these different motions and paperwork that just keep the process going, and going and going. He just can’t leave well enough alone, even though I won in court originally. His persistence in pestering me is doing nothing more than costing us both money we don’t have, and making life harder for all of us, even the kids.

One of the things he took me to court over was that he doesn’t get enough time with the children. What I found out is that he quit his 2nd job, and has been free to call them or visit with them in the evenings all he wanted to since this summer…but he chose not to, and he says that it’s my fault they don’t spend more time with him. Hmm…for that alone, I should throw the book at him. But, if I choose to throw the book at him, how does that make me any better than him?

I am SO tired of this mess, I don’t even have the words to describe it.

Well, what to do about it? I suppose I’ll go through the documentation again and make a decision: more court or no more court?  At this point, I’m opting for no more court. I keep thinking about that fact that I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror. When I get up in the morning, I want to be able to live with the face I see…I want to know that I did everything I could to take the high road and not to let myself get dragged down in the muck.

All of this talk of court battles and my ex husband has really been a downer, and I apologize. In effort to lighten the mood a little I’d like to share a picture I found on Facebook today, because it’s FABULOUS. I want a paint job on my vehicle like this when I grow up:

I have a LOT of awesome things I want to do when I grow up, and when my life really gets to start again. I’ve got a bit of a head start on living for myself, but there is so much to see and do…so many things I want to learn. Lots of little things I want to discover and relish. Lots of big things I want to be amazed at. I am so looking forward to jumping back into my own life and this picture kind of got that notion revved up in my head this morning.

I want to experience more joy in life, and less of the day-to-day hum drum existence. I want to do “all the awesome shit I said I’d do”, when I was younger. I keep telling myself that once Younger Son has graduated, I will have accomplished having raised my kids, and I can really start living for myself. I know that parenting doesn’t end, but it does change. I think instead of waiting for that fixed point in time, I can really find small ways to get a head start. Spending time with The Flirt has been a bit of a beginning…we’ll see what I can do to build on that.

Here’s hoping you all have a little Animal in you that feeds your desire to live life to the fullest you can, no matter what your circumstances. I’m hoping to let mine out a little more every day!

 

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About Sparrow
I am a 47 years young and the mother of two amazing young men, who've grown up and left me mostly an Empty-Nester. I write about what's going on in my little corner of the High Plains, or what happens to be crawling across my brain on a given day. Thank you so much for stopping by. Make yourself at home...through the magic of the internet, the coffee's always free and the doughnuts are fresh!

3 Responses to Where does the madness end?

  1. dragonfae says:

    Oh sweetie, what a mess. *hugs*

    I’m not a fan of most lawyers but yours sounds like a gem (and very much like the woman I hired for my divorce 20+ years ago). May I offer something to think about?

    I get that you’re tired and frustrated and wishing he would grow up. Sometimes people never do, And sometimes, just as with children, they need to be reprimanded. If your ex is the type to violate a court order, is refusing to respond going to make him stop? I don’t think it’s vindictive or stooping to his level to allow the system to correct his behavior, Perhaps if he or his lawyer were sanctioned/fined it would be the incentive needed to quit the game playing?

    I don’t know the specifics of all you’ve dealt with, and as I said not much a fan of most lawyers, but there are some who are really good and who try to make the system work the way it should. I think you have one of those. And I know they ain’t cheap. But I can’t help wonder if it might be less expensive in the long run to let her file the contempt motion and head off further shenanigans.

    Whatever you decide, I hope you can finally get some peace in all this. And that paint job rocks … made me smile when I saw it on FB yesterday. 🙂

  2. I was told by a lawyer, during a divorce:

    Whoever cuts their losses – wins.

    I found that to be true.

    Good luck with this, Sparrow (hug)

  3. Sparrow says:

    Teresa and Dragonfae,

    Thanks to you both for your kind words and wisdom! HUGS

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