Rules for replying to posts that make you mad

Today, I was shocked and dismayed to discover that one of the blogs I frequent has been attacked by another blogger in a fit of self-righteous indignation. I’m not going to rehash the whole scenario, as you can find it HERE, but let’s just say that the other blogger blew things way out of proportion, and then stated that she was ready to tweet her displeasure about this blog post and see what the internet had to say about it. In other words, she was mad and wanted the rest of the internet to be mad too.

The thing that is interesting to me about this is that the other blogger more or less accused my blog friend of  the crime of bullying/intolerance (which is, by the way, incorrect), and then turned around and became the bully herself.

Really?  Are we not adults here? What is the point in becoming the thing you accuse others of?

As I have a history of flying off the handle before really thinking about something before I respond to it, I’ve had to employ some measures to make sure that I am not one of those people who just blurts out whatever my attitude is on a subject. I’ve really tried to work at giving thoughtful replies to things that have been less than pleasing to me, if I reply at all. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

1. When you read something that really pisses you off, first thing you need to do is re-read the article to make sure you did understand it correctly the first time. Read it not just for the raw information, but for intent and correct context. Go back and read other posts by the same blogger to get an understanding of them. Don’t just judge on one post.

2. Make sure you have your facts straight. Do you research. This has saved me from making an ass of myself more than once.

3. Once you’ve made completely sure that you understand the topic well, then decide if you are going to reply. Don’t post a reply just because you can.

4. If you are still angry, leave it overnight. Most blogs don’t disappear into thin air… It will still be there in the morning. If it does disappear, then problem solved and no comment needed.

5. If you’ve left it lay over night, and you still feel the need to post a reply, make sure you use your manners. Just because someone has said something you find incorrect or infuriating doesn’t mean you get to be a bully about it. You will not win an argument by brute force.

6. Simply make a short well thought out statement and leave it at that. However, if you have the opportunity to engage in a thoughtful dialog with someone about the topic, go for it.

7. Treat everyone with the respect and dignity you expect to be treated with. In short, don’t be a dick. Yes, I said it, and I mean it. While we are all entitled to our opinions and have the freedom to express them, being a dick about it buys you nothing but a bad reputation, hard feelings and more drama than you need.

That’s all I have to say about that. If I missed anything that might be a good addition to the list, please feel free to post it.


About Sparrow
I am a 49 years young and the mother of two amazing young men, who've grown up and left me an Empty-Nester. I write about what's going on in my little corner of the High Plains, or what happens to be crawling across my brain on a given day. Thank you so much for stopping by. Make yourself at home...through the magic of the internet, the coffee's always free and the doughnuts are fresh!

15 Responses to Rules for replying to posts that make you mad

  1. Well Ms. Sparrow… I don’t think I can add another thing. You pretty much covered all the bases and sealed it with “don’t be a dick”. I just printed it out and have it handy to refer to when I too have my monents of the pie hole flying off the handel. I kind of feel that II kinda of took the bait on this too after I read her post about me. I never have been accussed of being someone that she described me as and it annoyed me. Not as bad as it annoyed the Idiot. Man, I will never cross him in a dark cyber alley! Great post and thanks for the kind words.

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    Great post Sparrow! Well said! You make a bunch of very good points here. I too will keep your list for future reference, as you may gathered that I have a short fuse when a friend is being unjustly accused of something. Thanks for being the level-headed voice of reason Sparrow! Have a good night! 🙂

    • sparrow1969 says:

      Mark, you are a faithful and marvelous friend. Bless you for standing up for Pie. We all know that she’s not capable of being what that lady said. Isn’t it interesting that she hasn’t had as many readers jump to her aid as did for Pie?

      Thanks for your kind words!

  3. Kali says:

    Thank you for an excellent post! I, too, am planning on saving it for future reference.

    I’m not a blogger, but I happened here via a rather circuitous trail … clicked on a link in my local news headlines to TheIdiotSpeaketh’s blog (I’m in his area), then followed a link to apieceofthepiehole’s blog, took a detour to over to Snoring Dog’s blog (sheesh what an intolerant humorless jerk), then continued to read the comments on pie hole’s blog. Her comment about your weather piqued my curiousity, so here I am.

    I’ve been enjoying reading your blog, and got more than a few chuckles on your weather related posts. Back about 30 years ago I visited a boyfriend who was stationed at Minot. The first time was a lovely July week there, the second time was in January. Unfortunately his car broke down at about 3:30am about midway on the lonely road from town back to the base. We spent a miserable and cold 20 minutes huddled under a quilt until a crew bus came along on its way back to base. Thank you very much, but I don’t think I’ll be visiting ND in the winter again! (And you can keep those Alberta clippers up there!)

    • sparrow1969 says:

      Greetings Kali,

      Thank you so much for your kind words…I’m glad what I had to say made sense. At the time I wrote it I was not taking my own good advice too well. You’re right, that lady was an intolerant humorless jerk, and she really got under my skin.

      I am so sorry to hear that you got stuck between here and the Base in January, in the wee hours of the morning. Uff da! That had to be miserable! I had given some thought to getting a job out there, but the idea of getting stuck like that has been a real deterrent.

      Thanks again for your kind words, and for stopping by. Please feel free to stop by any time…the coffee and donuts are free!

  4. Sparrow, this is a list for life! Good list! You should sell that and you could make millions! and you are all right- Mark is a great friend. He sticks up for you and is happy for your victories- the best friend a blogger could have. It would be scary to meet him in a dark cyber alley- especially because he would have a blow up doll stuck to his hands!

  5. sparrow1969 says:

    Thanks for your kind words Jamie. I wish I could sell the list and make millions…then I could quit my jobs and spend more time on my blog!

    Also, the specter of the blow up doll added to the dark alley scenario definitely bumps the scary factor several notches. Can you imagine being chased out of a dark alley by a wild man flogging you with a blog up doll? Add a jungle yell to that and you have one well protected dark cyber alley!

  6. Brea says:

    You know, my friend, you’ve kept me from flying off the broomhandle more than once. You are the one that always counseled patience and thought when I was ready to rip some heads off.

    And I know that over the last year you’ve had reason enough to fly off that broomhandle yourself.
    You’re a good woman, “Charlene Brown”.

    • sparrow1969 says:

      Really Brea?! I had no idea I had such a calming effect. And here all this time I thought you’ve been the one keeping me from spinning into the atmosphere! Hugs back at you!

  7. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    I don’t have the doll anymore!!!!!! Honest!!!

  8. H J Smith says:

    Very good points. That kind of behavior turns people off and gives blogging a bad name.

  9. Pingback: 10 Basic Rules for New Bloggers | Sparrow's Ramblings

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