I read about a blog contest today for the Mom of the Year award, and I actually submitted an entry. Now, mind you, I don’t feel like I am any kind of mother to be deserving of an award, much less be given the title of Mom of the Year. However, the parameters of the contest made it clear that I might actually have something to contribute. The blog is entitled Slightly Off-Balance, and the contest parameters are as follows:
“I am announcing my Mom of the Year contest to recognize the crazy things you do as you struggle for balance!
But in the spirit of being Slightly Off-Balance, I am not looking for traditional stories of all organic food, no tv, no yelling (these are all amazing qualities, but I don’t want to feel bad about myself!) You win with humor!
Tell me a story about how you fed your kids McDonald’s for six straight meals or how you ate their cupcakes and told them they were stale. The more off-balance and funny the better. I will announce a winner next Monday, October 25th.”(This has since been pushed back to Nov 1st or 2nd)
Since I have so many stories of how I keep my equilibrium by keeping my children off balance, I thought I’d post an entry, which I’ve pasted below in blue. I hope that many of my readers will make entries as well. Even if you don’t enter, stop by and have a look…there are some funny submissions.
The back-story of following conversation I had with my youngest son is that I wouldn’t let my kids watch Britney Spears on TV. I found Miss “I Don’t Want To Be A Role Model”, quite too racy for my then 9 and 7-year-old boys. Youngest Son is quite a joker, but I got him good on this particular day as he was trying to get revenge on me for not stopping to get him some candy after school. We were having this discussion while in traffic on the way home:
Youngest Son: “You know what? When I grow up, I’m going to marry Britney Spears!”
Me: “Really, you’re going to marry Britney Spears?”
Youngest Son: “That’s right, and we’re going to let our kids do anything they want, and eat anything they want.”
Me: “That’s interesting. Youngest Son, how old do you think you will be when you get married?”
Youngest Son: “I don’t know.”
Me: “We’ll generally, people don’t get married until they’re in their 20’s. You’re only 7 now.”
Youngest Son: “So?”
Me: “Britney is about 21 or so now, and you have to wait 14 years to catch up to that age since you’re only 7 now.
Youngest Son: “Yeah, what about it?”
Me: “Well, while you are aging for 14 years, she will be aging at the same time, which means she will get old and look just like me” (I’m chubby with gray-streaked dark hair).
Youngest Son: “WHAT?”
Me: “You didn’t think she was just going to stay 21 and cute forever did you?”
Youngest Son: [Silence]
**Note: He didn’t say another thing about Britney Spears to me for the rest of that trip home, or for several years after that!