Remembering Those Who Remain


Today, we had an event at work that had to do with remembrance of those who have had breast cancer. The odd thing is, it just happened to coincide with the birthday of a friend of mine who died from that very affliction. I’ve also had a family member die from breast cancer. Everyone knows someone who’s had it, whether they lived to tell about it or not.

It occurred to me today that there isn’t enough talk about those who remain after someone has passed on.  There’s a lot of talk about prevention, finding a cure, and coping with it if you get it, but there’s not much thought given to the people who are left behind. The people who’ve watched, waited, cried with, cried for, helped along, and generally supported those who are going through the illness are stuck dealing with the aftermath. This is not the fault of the person who’s passed away, but I think it’s due to a general lack of really knowing what to do for those who are trying to heal up from going through such a trying time.

I say this, because I know first hand about not knowing what do to for someone in this situation. In the case of my friend who passed away, we weren’t getting along so well during that time and I wasn’t around when she died.  Our mutual friend was though. She did so much for her, and helped her through everything, and even helped with the funeral arrangements when she passed away.  When my family member was sick, she lived far away, so I didn’t see what she was going through, but my parents did. My Dad helped her out when they were together, and did what he could.

In both instances, the individuals who helped these folks who were dying didn’t get much help. I felt like I should do something for them, and really didn’t have idea one what that would be. All I really could do is listen when they spoke about their experiences, their trials and their feelings. I don’t know if it made a difference, but I hope it did in some small measure. I look back now, and wish I had done more.

So, the next time you go to a rally or an event celebrating with those who have survived cancer, and remembering those who didn’t, think also about those who supported them and about what they have gone through as well. These people need help and support too, even if is just a willing ear.

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About Sparrow
I am a 47 years young and the mother of two amazing young men, who've grown up and left me mostly an Empty-Nester. I write about what's going on in my little corner of the High Plains, or what happens to be crawling across my brain on a given day. Thank you so much for stopping by. Make yourself at home...through the magic of the internet, the coffee's always free and the doughnuts are fresh!

4 Responses to Remembering Those Who Remain

  1. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    Great point! and great post Sparrow! I liken this to Alzheimers. A lot of made of research and awareness and treatment of the poor souls who suffer from alzheimers, but most do not think of the HUGE sacrifice that the caregivers make in their care, which is a 24hr task for years on end.

  2. Brea says:

    You WERE a great help, you ARE a great help, my friend and sister. You can always make me laugh, even when I don’t really want to, or feel up to it. You know about shared pain and shared joy. And you listen. You are one of the easiest people to talk to, and you understand that sometimes, it’s all about the venting, and not so much about the content.

    I love you, and I’m proud to call you my Friend and Sister. There’s more than one person I wear the 7-Sisters ring for.

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