Spring blessings shine through the bad stuff

Well, life certainly has been eventful and full of blessings here at Sparrow’s Nest…I hardly know where to start. Let’s get the bad news out of the way first.

My ex husband doesn’t know when to quit, and is hurling careless and ridiculous motions and subpoenas at me, asking for information that isn’t  relevant to the case at hand. Quite frankly, my lawyer is dumfounded at the idiocy he and his lawyer are perpetrating. I’m so grateful that my lawyer is thorough and meticulous. I feel like I’ve really got someone good in my corner where this awful matter is concerned.

Last night I took a harried trip to the ER. I’ve been sick for a while, but thought I was on the mend. About midnight I woke up coughing hard and then had a very hard time getting any air back into my lungs. Poor Younger Son woke up to the sound of his mother making strident noises, fighting for air.  Oddly enough when he came out and found me, I was standing in the kitchen with my head stuck in the freezer. I’d had a friend whose daughter had really bad asthma, and when she would have a bad  breathing episode taking her out into the cold dry winter air helped to unlock her lungs. Doesn’t work so well with a freezer, but you never know until you try.

I tell you what, I will never take breathing for granted again.

Long story short, Older Son drove me to the ER and it turns out that I have the beginnings of pneumonia. So, Older and Younger sat with me all night while the good folks at the ER pumped me full of steroids and antibiotics. I’m feeling much better today, and have another week’s worth of medicine to take and the whole week off of work next week. Not that I didn’t know it already, but it was made even more clear to me how lucky I am to have such good boys. I’d be lost without them.

I’ve been spending some time in my back yard recently and am gratified to see how well the trees and shrubs we put in last year have done. We have had a really unseasonably early Spring here in North Dakota, and everything is blooming early. One of my plum trees has already started to produce fruit and it’s only a year old.

Not only are my trees doing well, but by the time I was able to get into my strawberry bed and weed it, I discovered that I have volunteer chives and onions going to seed, and my strawberries are flowering to beat the band. The thyme came back too. It’s amazing how good it feels to know that the plants I chose to put in my garden like where they live, and appear to be happy and healthy.

My two blueberry shrubs are slower to grow back this year, especially the one. I think the local rabbit chewed it pretty well this winter, but it’s sprouting from the bottom, and looks like it’s making a valiant effort to come back. I’ll get some special blueberry fertilizer and see if we can’t give them a boost this summer. I don’t expect to get any fruit from them within the next few years, but I’ll be working to get some growth on them so they can get well established.

The weather has been phenomenal, and it’s been so lovely to walk in the sunshine. It rained last night and today, and we are expecting more tonight. It’s so very nice to have everything washed off, and to see all the trees leafing out and the yards greening up. Spring is a lovely, lovely time of year.

Older Son will be graduating next weekend, and I find I am all emotional about it. I guess I should expect to be that way…it’s an emotional time. Everything for him is in upheaval as his old life is ending, and he gets to start over and begin to write the chapters of his own new book. Some of this I get to participate in, and some of it I will have to stand back and watch as he makes his own way…and boy is that excruciating. The good news and blessing here is that Older Son is a responsible young man…or as I like to say it, he’s a good kid. He’ll do just fine. I need to keep reminding myself that I survived all the different transitions I’ve made in my life, and he will too.

Right at this very moment, I have a nice pot of chicken soup simmering on the stove. The best part about this soup is that I was able to add in fresh thyme and green onions from my garden. Now that’s good medicine, right there!

Here’s wishing you all many Spring blessings. It’s my fondest hope that you are all as richly blessed as I am.

Summer…full steam ahead!

Summer is looming large, and there is so much to do!

I am excited for Older Son. He will graduate from high school at the end of May, and then will be going to work. He’s decided that school isn’t what he wants to do, and that he’d rather be gainfully employed. He’s nerve-wracked about it, but I know that once graduation is done and he’s landed a full-time job, things will smooth out for him and give him a sense of independence that he really needs. I’ll be helping him get launched, and I’m nervous for him with all the changes he will have to get through, but he’ll make it ok.

This weekend, I finally got around to getting Older Son’s graduation invitations made and printed out. Now comes the task of getting them addressed and mailed. I keep having the sensation of needing to put on my seat belt and crash helmet as there are so many changes coming up so quickly.  That’s ok…the good news is that I can see pretty much everything that’s coming, and can have some kind of preparation in place. Feeling prepared, sometimes, is half the battle.

Not only do we have graduation to get ready for, but it appears that I will be making another trip to court. Yes, ladies and gentleman, my ex is taking me to court. Again. It’s my hope that this will be the end of it, no matter how it comes out. That comes June 15th, so hopefully after that the rest of the Summer will be smooth sailing.

Once graduation and court are done with, I will have a lot of things to look forward to. The first thing I can’t wait to do is get my garden in. It will be put in way before the middle of June, but I do enjoy watching the plants grow and puttering around in the garden. The absolute best is harvest time. There is nothing quite like going into the garden and grabbing bunch of grape tomatoes to take to the office with me to snack on all morning. Hmmm…..yummy!

I also have a bunch of home improvement plans. I’m getting new doors, and will be painting my bedroom, painting and putting new carpet into Younger Son’s bedroom, finishing up paint and reinstalling the carpet in Older Son’s room, reorganizing and installing more storage in my basement (can’t wait to show you pictures of my new pantry!), and reorganizing my kitchen and living room.  That’s a whole bunch of stuff to do, but I am hopeful that a weekend here and there across the Summer will help me get it all done.

We bought fishing licenses this year, and have plans on going fishing a lot. It’s something I enjoyed as a kid, and Younger Son enjoys. The Flirt perked my interest in fishing back up, and we have a whole summer a head to pull in a bunch of fish. I’m hoping that we have enough by the 4th of July so we can have a fish fry. It used to be a tradition in our family that all the fish we caught through June got filleted and went into the freezer for that weekend. I’m hoping it’s a tradition I can revive.

The weather hasn’t been so cooperative lately, so I haven’t been able to get out and go walking much, but I am looking forward to getting out and walking every morning again, especially on the weekends when I can take my time and go to different places in town to walk. to go along with that, I am hoping to drop another 20 pounds in 2012. Younger Son is a weightlifter, and has given me some advice about how to get rid of the flappy parts on the back side of my arms. I’m looking to have that tightened up by the end of the Summer too.

I’m also looking forward to doing some fun landscaping in my yard this summer. Those of you who’ve been reading my blog for a while know that I am all about edible landscaping, but I have to admit that it is quite a challenge to put in mostly edibles when we need hardy plants that take a lot of bad weather and abuse. The good news is that I found a fabulous shrub called a Carmine Jewel Dwarf Cherry (picture courtesy of Gurney’s). This neat little plant is not only pretty as an ornamental, which grows in environments up to zone 2, but also produces prolific amounts of cherries that you can eat raw or bake with. It’s something my Dad said he’d like to grow, so it will be something I can surprise him with for Father’s Day.  Double win!

I also have an opportunity to cross a really big thing off of my bucket list: A trip to Sturgis, SD for the annual bike rally, for me and The Flirt . My bucket list is something I will blog more about later, but suffice it to say that I have gotten to a point in my life where I’ve decided that there’s no time like the present, and no point in waiting. The hotel is paid for, and the planning has begun. The Flirt is a motorcyclist and has been to Sturgis already, so he knows the ins and outs and where to go to see some interesting things. We’ll be spending three days and two nights, which won’t be enough time to see everything, but we’ll see a lot. This trip comes toward the middle of August, which will be nice end to the summer. It will be my first weekend trip away from the kids after the divorce and will be a little nerve-wracking, but they are ok with it. I think Younger Son would have liked to go with us, but not this year.   This trip is for me and, while I normally would feel guilty about taking a trip like this, it’s harder to find my way to the place that allowed me swim in guilt and self-doubt these days. I’ll chalk that one up as emotional progress.

Once the trip is over, it will be time for Younger Son to start school again, beginning with football practice. Older Son will be working a full-time job by then, and will have his own wheels. With any luck, Younger Son will have his driver’s license and will have saved enough from his summer job to buy his own starter vehicle. Summer is going to scream right by…I’ll have to hold on with both hands and put the breaks on hard I can so I can feel like I’ve stopped to smell all of the roses, and eat all the tomatoes, I can!

The good thing about this Summer is that I have more good things coming up than bad things to get through, and that is a huge blessing. Here’s hoping your Summer plans hold as much good fun and adventure as mine will.

New steps, and the basement remodel moves forward!

All has been quiet in the last while regarding home improvement projects here at Sparrow’s Nest, until this last couple of weeks. I’ve had trouble with my basement steps, as they were constructed poorly when they were put in.  My Dad was kind enough to come over, take them apart and put them back together correctly with new treads.  He also pounded out the drywall that line the steps, as it was on the wrong side of the wall, and put in a new light where my pantry will go. He’s got plans about how to put a wall in on the steps side of the wall, and is helping me think about how to construct a pantry on the other side and underneath the stairs. My Dad’s amazing…he can pretty much build or fix anything, and I am so grateful that he’s put his considerable skills to work in my house. He’s definitely helping me make my house more of a home. The best part is that Older and Younger Sons have both helped, which gives them a sense of accomplishment, as well as a stake in how their home is fixed.

Here’s what it looked like to start with:

  As you can see the risers were installed incorrectly by overlapping the treads of the steps. This caused uneven wear and splinters to form. You can see where there was drywall on the wrong side of the stair wall, causing several Black Holes of Doom between the studs where things would fall down from above and get lost under the stairs.

Dad came over to make all the measurements and then we went shopping for new 2×10 boards for the new treads. Since the risers aren’t so visible, we didn’t buy new plywood, but reused what was there. Not having done this before, Dad was a little afraid of how much time it would take and so he came over on Saturday around 11:30 so that we’d have Sunday too, if need be.  Younger helped with this part of the project and it took them a little bit to get started, but once they did it seemed to go really smoothly, and only took about three hours to get finished. They started from the bottom, and did one step at a time. Younger Son has been talking to me about putting a finish on the steps, which I think we will do, but it will have to wait until the Spring when we can keep the windows open all day.

Later on that week, Dad came back and Older Son helped him pound out and haul out the drywall, and then he installed a light in the back of what will be my new pantry.

Here are pictures of the results:

This may not seem like a big deal, but it’s a huge step forward…if you’ll forgive the pun. By Spring I’m hoping to have  my new pantry ready to go and on the way to being filled up. I’d like to have a year’s worth of supplies banked away eventually, and this little project has gotten me that much closer to making that plan into reality. I have some other thoughts on pantry building, and being prepared, but I’ll leave those for another post.

Hopefully soon I’ll have some more pictures to show you regarding the progress on my basement remodel!

Sleeping in and The To Do List

Today I got to sleep in.

What a glorious and wonderful thing.

This whole last year has been full of working every weekend day, but that’s all changed now. I’ve changed my schedule so that I get one weekend day off. I had to take on extra hours during the week to do that, but life is full of little trade offs, and this one was worth it.

Not only did I get to sleep until my eyes felt like popping open all by themselves, but now I get to sit in a quiet house and catch up on my blogs. And,  I get to write a post with no interruptions or the boys reading over my shoulder. Now there’s a treat. It’s a little easier to write what I really feel if I don’t have to worry about them walking by and sneaking a peak and making comments.

Aw shoot…I guess I spoke too soon…Older Son just got up, but he’s offering to make coffee, so I guess that’s another one of those little trade offs. Hmm… Coffeeeeee!

This morning is going to be all about The To Do List. Since I’ve taken on extra hours at the Big Box Store, and have stumbled upon my new found amazing social life, my house has really hit the skids. Time to take action, and here’s the plan for today:

Kitchen – (medium bad shape) clean off all flat surfaces of all things accumulated, scrub floors. If time, scrub fridge doors, inside and house, reorganize cupboards and drawers.

Living room -(horrifyingly bad shape) Burn and start again. Nope, too expensive. Dust everything, scrub walls, scrub floors, vacuum rugs, sort bills and papers, reorganize entire room. Hm…maybe it would just be better to burn and start again?

Bathroom – (pretty good shape) Light weekly scrubbing needed only

Entry way – (Not too bad) Sweep and mop floor, reorganize shoes and jackets

My room – (Run away, run away!) Get rid of the last of the things I brought up from the basement during the flood. Sweep floor and vacuum rugs, change sheets, dust everything, organize shelves, organize closet.

Basement (Good grief, what happened to my clean basement?!) Totes need organizing, floors need sweeping, laundry needs catching up with (my poor washer will be smoking and begging for mercy by the end of the day), items need to be put away in my new workspace cupboards.

Outdoors (Uff-da…) Need to have Younger Son finish pulling in the garden, and weed-whack anything that’s over grown. Solar lights need to be put away for the year, and the shed needs to be organized.

I’ve just read over this list, and know that I have my work cut out for me, but so do Older Son and Younger Son -I’ll be keeping them busy today. I’m also aware of this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m dying to send a text message to my new man friend. He needs a blog nick name….I’ll have to think on that. I’m seriously aware that we are only friends, but I’ve gotten rather attached to him. Could be that I need to reign that in a little bit…if he wants to be more than friends, I’ll let him let me know. Darned flirty man… makes me want things I shouldn’t want right now. For today, I need to pay attention to my house and spend some extra time with my kids.

I hope you all have much smaller To Do Lists, and a spectacularly restful Sunday.

Editors note: So what happens after I get this posted and get ready to start my day? My phone goes off…it’s The Flirt…texting just saying Good Morning. Life is good…

May I see your identification, please…this ride doesn’t stop.

Recently, I’ve run into a lot of situations where I’ve had to card people while working at the Big Box Store. You wouldn’t believe what kinds of things you can’t buy in North Dakota until you are 18…some movies, cold medicines, spray paint. The list seems to be endless these days, and I find myself having to ask people for proof that they are old enough to purchase these items.

Very often, the ID’s that are shown to me are by people who were either born on the year I graduated from high school (20+ years ago), or were born the same year Oldest Son was born. It’s pretty bizarre that I am running into so many people who are just young enough that I could be their mother. Add to that the fact that I have several friends my age and younger who have grand children.

Needless to say it’s been weirding me out something fierce.

Today Older Son had his senior pictures taken (thank you, Brea!), and it was kind of surreal in a way I can’t even begin to describe. He’s really graduating from high school. Really. No take backs or do overs. The boy, er, young man, is getting ready to launch.

!

Please excuse me while I put on my crash helmet and strap in… I feel a little bit like I’m on a roller coaster, and the ride attendant has decided to give me an extended ride. I know this is just part of life, and I certainly remember being on Older Son’s end of things, but it is almost a little bit more jarring than I expected.  I’m betting this is normal and that a lot of parents have this issue. I think the strangest thing is that there is now no more road map. After graduation in May, the road map butts up against blank paper and then he has to start writing his own story from there.

Here’s the thing I know to be truth. There is no stopping. There is no Ground Hog Day scenario where I get to be Bill Murray and keep doing a day over until I get it right. There is no going around the block to make sure you take the turn you meant to take. The train has definitely pulled out of the station and I’m not going to be the conductor for very much longer.

I would be a bald-faced liar if I didn’t admit that there is some freedom for me in that. I shouldn’t feel guilty about that, but I do. I’m guessing that will pass and life will just keep going, just like it always does.

Pretty soon, Older Son will be purchasing things that will cause him to have his ID checked.  I haven’t been carded in a very long time, as I don’t color my hair to hide the silver. I figure I worked hard for those natural highlights…who am I to paint over what Nature gave me? It has the effect of letting everyone know that I am definitely old enough, for whatever. I guess if I’m old enough to have goodly sized silver streaks in my hair, I’m old enough to have a child who’s become a man and let him move on with his life. See how I talk myself into things? I’m very circular that way sometimes.

The good news is that it’ll be a small practice run for the whole Empty Nest Enchilada. I have a few years reprieve from that, as Younger Son won’t graduate until 2014.  And then what happens when Sparrow’s Nest holds just one sparrow in it again?

My life begins again.

The holding pattern evaporates and I get to reinvent my life. My road map will then butt up against a blank page, and I’ll get to start writing my own story again. It will be my turn.

I might even bump into a man who will be worth my time.  I’m pretty convinced that’s unlikely, but one never knows for sure.

Hmm….

Most days, two years feels like a small drop in a cosmic bucket, but there have been a few moments here and there where it seems like it’s going to be an eternity. Every now and again I get a small glimpse of what life  might be like when I can concentrate on myself and the things I’d like to do.  I hear people really do that. No joking. At least, that’s what I hear.

We’ll see if the rumors are true.

Until then I’ll keep on going, because this ride just doesn’t stop.

Quiet moments, and some blather

Yes…yes, I’m still alive. It’s been awhile since I posted, but I have to say I was a running fool. Seems like the whole summer has flown by. While I feel like I have nothing to show for it, I’ve actually been pretty busy. That’s ok…It’s better than sitting around, I guess.  And then, when I have time to take a breath, all the fabulous things I had found to blog about evaporate like flood water on a hot July day.  Amazingly, I was sitting in the living room alone with no sounds other than my Wood Wick candle burning, the traffic outside and the noise of Younger Son taking a shower. It was a lovely quiet moment, albeit brief. Apparently that was just enough to break my writer’s block. Strange, the things my brain will respond to.

The flood situation in Minot is no longer all about being wet, but now about recovery. Most everyone who was displaced has been allowed back into their homes, and the gutting and cleaning has commenced.  We have heard that there is a plan being proposed that will straighten out the river, and provide protection from the river for up to 30,000 cfs (cubic feet/second).   We dealt with upwards of 22,000 cfs this go around. Whatever plan they come up with, it will take a long time to put into place, but Minot will be better off for it. More on that as things progress.

Right now we are sitting in the living room watching a movie called Escanaba in da Moonlight. It’s an old family favorite that we got through Netflix. It’s one of those shows we all agree on, and can have a good laugh over.  There’s nothing like sitting around with your kids having a good laugh.

Speaking of kids, I had the last three days off so I could get them registered and set up for school, which is starting very late for us this year. The flood took several schools in town so the State has forgiven five school days, plus there will be three more tacked on to that will be made up throughout the school year. As a result, instead of starting school August 24th, school won’t start until September 6th. Older Son is a Senior this year, and so come all things associated with that: Senior pictures, applying to colleges and graduation…amongst other things.  Older Son isn’t too hip on the whole graduation tradition, and would rather skip all of the pictures and ceremony. Well, he’s just going to have to tough it out. Some traditions just need to be observed. I think he’s feeling a little overwhelmed with the end of school coming and having to make choices. I don’t envy him…it’s no easy thing to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. I still am not sure what I want to do when I grow up either, and I’m 42.

Younger Son cooked supper tonight. It was a <a href=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/t1IiUAtoNBk“>grilled,  bacon wrapped, vegetable stuffed meatloaf. OMG. That kid is going to make me fatter than I already am. He’s also going to make some nice girl a fine husband one day. He’s got that cooking thing down for someone who’s only 16 years old. This is the third time in the last month I’ve come home to find supper grilled and ready to eat. I’m truly spoiled.

My lovely kitty, Harley, got declawed this week. As lovely as he is, he’s got a taste for scratching everything but the scratching post, including box springs, the dish washer, the heat vent in the bathroom, the living room furniture, and anything Older Son owns. It’s not something I had planned on, or liked, having to do, but it was either that or he’d have to go. The good news is that he is making a remarkable recovery and is up to the usual mischief…except without so many scratch marks.

Now it’s quiet again, and all I hear is my tapping on the key board and the wooden wick of my candle crackling away. Pretty soon I’ll have to get up and put my laundry in the dryer, and hit the rack, bringing  my rare quiet moment to an end, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

A fabulous evening outdoors

It’s been raining a lot in my area lately, but today it quit raining long enough for the sun to come out and dry things up a little bit. As luck would have it, I have a friend who needed to thin out her strawberry patch, and she invited me to come out and take some of her extras. As Older Son had to work today, it was just me and Younger road tripping out to the country to pick up the strawberries. It was a lovely drive in the country and I had a nice visit with my friend. But, the fun didn’t stop there.

After supper, Younger Son and I went to the back yard to work some manure into the garden, plan seeds and put the strawberries in. The place the strawberries went was an over grown bed that we never really do much with, so now it’s been all cleaned out and the strawberries have been planted:

Apparently onions thrive when planted with strawberries, and my friend was kind enough to send along some “volunteers” that came up from last year, so we have onions and strawberries. I can’t wait to be able to go out in the back yard and pick fresh berries!

Another extra that she sent with me was an oregano plant. I’m looking forward to using that, and the basil we’ll be planting in fresh spaghetti sauce!

To the left of my new strawberry patch is the rest of the garden that needs cleaning out. We’ll have basil, dill and other herbs to plant there.

While I was busy cleaning out this bed and planting the strawberries, Younger Son was busy with the vegetable garden. Not only did he spread some manure and work it into the soil, but then he planted the corn, peas, carrots and zucini. Last year we didn’t get the garden put in until June was half gone, but we got a nice start on it this year. I want to pick up some peppers and grape tomatoes to plant too. I also bought some blueberry bushes, but they are waiting by the garden in buckets yet, until I can move the rhubarb.   This is going to be a fabulous garden year!

Even better than getting out and getting my hands in the soil was just spending a lovely evening outside. The bugs were minimal, the air was clean and fresh, and the sun did a fabulous job taking its time setting…it was still light out at 9:30 when we finally went inside. I feel so relaxed and content now, even though I gardened when I should have been cleaning house. My house is a wreck, but I feel fabulous!

I’ll post more as progress is made through the summer. I can hardly wait for harvest!

Hug your children, they may be gone tomorrow

So, what makes a hug a hug?

I think hugs don’t always  have to be two or more people wrapping their arms around each other. Sometimes hugs come in different packaging.

The reason I know this is that of my two kids, Younger Son is not a Public Display of Affection kind of guy. He’s not into hugs, and by the time he hit kindergarten holding hands with Mom was taboo. Older Son is a very openly affectionate person, in the usual manner, and has never been one to shy away from a hug.

This really bothered me for a long time until just recently, when I discovered that Younger Son hugged me all the time, just not with his arms. He’s rather a prankster at home, and I find that he often will poke my shoulder as he walks by…or nudge me. And, he likes high-fives. Lots of high-fives.

It dawned on me the other day that if I am really paying attention, Younger Son is hugging me every day, multiple times a day…just not with his arms.

This revelation makes me feel a whole lot better, especially in light of the news I received today from my dear friend “R”. She sent me a note on Facebook this morning letting me know why she didn’t make it to town this last weekend. Two of her older son’s best friends, and another friend of theirs were killed in a car accident this week. These kids were only in their late teens/early twenties. Yes, I called them kids…they are someone’s children, and so young that they didn’t have a chance to really live. Not really. Three sets of parents have just outlived a child, and will never have the opportunity get to know those boys as they grow into men and have families of their own.

“R” lives in a small community, so it isn’t just the parents who lost these boys…everyone lost these boys. Worse yet, it wasn’t like this was an expected death. These kids were strong, healthy boys who got in a car and just didn’t make it home, which makes it all that much more shocking and painful.

As I sat reading the message this morning, trying to find words to say to my friend, I realized there are no words. Nothing fixes this. They say time heals all wounds, but something I have come to understand is that grief is worn away like stones are worn smooth in a river. It takes a long time, and I only  imagine the personal hell these poor parents are dealing with.

I generally don’t do this, but today I will ask my 18 faithful readers, and everyone else who happens by this little blog,  to please send all the good vibes you can muster to these parents and their community.  They could use all the help they can get.

So, hug your kids. If you have a kid who isn’t into hugging or other obvious displays of affection, be on the lookout for those behaviors that are really hugs in disguise…like frequent high-fives.

What makes a Mother?

I’ve been sitting here for about an hour pouring through the internet looking for some inspiration, as I’ve been dealing with some writer’s block issues lately.  After all of that, I came up with nothing. Zilch…zero…nada.

And then, I saw Older Son curl up on the couch with my afghan. I ran right over, smoothed it out and took this picture:

This rainbow afghan is one of my favorite things in the whole world. My Aunty B. made it for me as a gift for my tenth birthday, and I have hauled it around with me for the last 32 years, always making sure that it is left out on the couch or the bed for quick use. Just now are some of the threads beginning to let go, so I’ll have to take a hard look at it soon and make sure I get any loose ends tied up good and tight.

She’s been gone fifteen years now, but I hope that she still looks in on us once in a while and sees that this beloved item is still in use. I think it would make her happy to know that it held together so long and was used by my children, and will most likely be used by their children too.

Someone commented once that this particular afghan wasn’t the prettiest thing in the world, but they just didn’t have the right eyes with which to really see it.  Aunty B was quite a jack of all trades. She could do anything she put her mind to, and she was always the life of any gathering. Everything she made, she made with love. She was an amazing person who had a lot to give, and would have made a spectacular mother. Unfortunately she was unable to have children of her own, and that breaks my heart.

So, what makes a mother?

Usually it takes either a blood relationship between a woman and child, or a legal relationship. Some times people just step up and BE mothers, though. Some people come by it naturally, like Aunty B. She helped raise one of her husband’s nephews when his home life went sideways and he needed a place to live. My Dad spent many summers with Aunty B and her husband. By the time my brother and I came a long, she was a kind of grandma figure to us, but she didn’t treat us like we were grandchildren…she treated all kids like they we her own.

Some people, like me, have to work at being a mother. I wasn’t born with any maternal bones in my body…I had to build them from the ground up.  Aunty B didn’t have to work at it…she just always knew what to say and what to do. What a travesty that she wasn’t able to have her own children, especially when there are people in the world who get pregnant effortlessly and don’t care so much about their kids.

I write about Aunty B today, not because she was the only good example of motherhood I have in my life, but she is the one that finally woke up my Writing Muse today.  I am very fortunate to have many fine role models, starting with my own Mom, who taught me how to be fierce on my children’s behalf, and who always has a ready answer when I have questions about how to cook something. My Grandma G taught me all about baking, how to navigate family politics, and how to stay in touch. I could go on ad nauseam about all of the wonderful people in my life who present good motherhood role models. I’m thankful for them all.

To all of my 18 Faithful Readers who are mothers, I hope that you are as fortunate as I have been to have so many good role models for motherhood, and that you shine your light for the next generation to use as an example in their own lives. Happy Mother’s Day!

You have all the weapons you need…now fight!

I just got home from taking the boys to see Sucker Punch.

When I asked the boys what they thought about it, Younger Son said: “Hot girls with weapons. What’s not to like?”  I asked Older Son what he thought, and he indicated that it was “pretty good”, but that was only because there are hot girls with weapons. This is what I get for asking teenage boys what they think about a movie with hot girls kicking ass like hot knives through butter. Not only that, but there was lots of good explosions and other interesting graphics.

What did I think about it? It was a different movie, very existential and layered with symbolism; a story that is actually stacked about three stories deep, almost an Inception style concept. My favorite part of the movie was this recurring phrase: “You have all the weapons you need…now fight!” I like this theme. I like it a lot.

Another theme that ran through this movie was that you never know when help will arrive, or what form it will take. You must keep your eyes open and think on your feet.

I don’t know that it was worth paying theater rates, but it would definitely be a good rental. While this movie displays a lot of violence and cruelty, it also has an interesting undercurrent of empowerment in the face of adversity…albeit in a cheese-tastic sort of way. And, while I tend to be a lover of happy endings, this one had a mixed ending. I won’t spoil it for you, but I will say that it’s not going to be the ending you think it might be…or should be. It’s certainly not the ending I would have chosen, but it did work.

I’ll give this movie one big thumb up, out of a possible two. Good movie, but not worth the theater charges. Make this one a rental.